What your choice of dessert for breakfast says about you | Gourmand and Gourmet

What your choice of dessert for breakfast says about you

  • Food & Booze
Let’s get one thing straight, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with starting your morning with a few slices of French toast dipped in egg and cream, fried in butter and served with some sweetly poached seasonal fruit, nuts of the toffeed variety, and a big old dollop of creme fraiche. Nothing. Now that I’ve lightened your guilt complex, allow me to drag you out of the closet even further and give you the down and dirty on what your choice of brekky dessert says about you. Of course you’re all sweet, but what’s going on underneath those layers of pancakes, waffles or parfait? You order:     Muesli Whether it’s in a parfait, bircher, gluten free, un-toasted, toasted; the Muesli chooser doesn’t care. You see it’s not about the muesli, it’s about the texture. It’s about the soft cooked fruit, it’s about the creaminess of the yoghurt, it’s about the crunch of the nuts, it’s about pouring the perfect amount of milk over to create that perfect gooey mess. It’s about nurture, it’s about the emotional connection, continuing the cereal habit into adulthood. It’s about not having to cut up your meal, but choosing to read the paper instead. It’s unobtrusive control and above all it’s quick and easy. You order:     A Muffin Muffin eaters are living in a land of deception. You think you’re being all goody two shoes eating that little fruit and choc chip laden morsel with your skinny latte, but it’s all a ruse. One of those bad boys will set you back 1799 kilojoules or 430 calories for starters! That, my friends is a meal. So unless you’re specifically ordering a snack, or a breakfast entree, for goodness sake, be genuine with yourself and have a meal. And please, no “everything on the side”, requests. When will the deception end? Just eat. You order:     Hot Cakes You people are lovely people pleasers. This dish is frequently ordered by a person who has gone with the status quo of ordering savoury like everyone else. You’ve eaten, you’ve flagged down the waitperson for the second round of coffees and BAM! Before you know it, you’ve ordered enough dessert for everyone, with forks and extra ice cream; your shout. Secretly, you are very pleased with yourself as is evidenced by the leg bouncing anticipation. Now, next time if you want pancakes with extra ice-cream for brekky, order it straight up. Promise me you’ll be brave and go for it, who cares what people think! You order:     French Toast I admire French Toast eaters.You guys aren’t afraid of anything. You’ll order extra maple. Damn it, you’re going to have extra bacon, no double bacon; and make it crisp please. You know what you want, how you want it, when you want it. No fear, no recrimination. You compensate by going for a walk with the dog later, or not! It doesn’t matter. Freedom is yours. Congratulations. Other people’s opinions of you don’t enter the equation in your head at all. Your order:    Waffles Waffle eaters get beaten by their fix every time. You need it over the top, over indulgent. You order quickly. (Let’s face it, you knew it was waffles before you left home). The waffle high hits, the craving abates and more often than not you leave half. No doggy bag. That might have something to do with the strawberry milkshake you ordered as well. You know what you want and you take it, leave no prisoners. My advice? Order half portions. Still stuck on savoury for breakfast? I dare you to go over the top. Go on! Freedom beckons. It’s an open invitation to live life large from the sweet spot. Words by nims xx