What does your wine say about you?
16 Nov 2015
While it might not seem like your grape of choice says much about you, sometimes it takes a little reading between the wines to decipher what kind of drinker you really are. We’re not ones to discriminate – because at the end of the day, any glass of grape juice is a wine-wine situation, and at the end of the week, we’re just screaming TGIF (thank god it’s fermented.) Whether you’re on cloud wine over a glass of rosé or you get your pizzazz from Shiraz – there’s a tipple to suit any taste. Check out what kind of drinker you are and may the best man wine. Cabernet You believe age is only a number, unless of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. It’s the Jennifer Aniston of the wine family and it’s only getting better with age (but let’s face it, who keeps a bottle of wine for longer than a week in this world?) Aside from feeling fancy about your fifteen-year-old bottle sitting in your wine cabernet, you’re awfully appreciative that your fave tipple is also the only one you can confidently pronounce in public. We’ll take a glass of Cab… thanks. Chardonnay You don’t have time for the chardon-naysayers and you don’t appreciate being likened to your mother for whacking an ice cube or two in your glass when you’re trying to un-wined. You like to hang out with other chardon-natives and secretly take solace in the fact that old ladies order the same glass of wine as you – because let’s face it – living through the grape depression means you know a thing or two about chardie. Under $10 You heard it on the grape wine that the bottle-o is selling your drop for less than $10 and before you can say ‘holy cork screw batman’ you’re in the wine-mobile and at the counter with a six for $50 special in hand. You’ll take any wine-dow of opportunity to show off your incredible ability to wine thrift and you’re often the one at the party doing these ones – “would you believe it was less than $10?” (No judgment here – we’ve all been there.) Merlot How merlot can you go? You’re the one always giving your mates the merlot down on what wine pairs best with steak (merlot – clearly) and you like your piece of cow still mooing. You’re always up for a grape night out and you’re not opposed to telling someone they’ve got a great (wine) rack. Rosé You’re happy go lucky and aren’t opposed to cracking out a bottle of pink. Rosé drinkers are young at heart, take any opportunity to party (sip, sip hooray!), but know when it’s time to stop and smell the rosé. Your drink of choice might be pink, but you’re not opposed to swinging both ways (red or white – because any colour wine is better than no wine at all, am I right?). Pinot Grigio You’re proud you can pronounce something so wonderfully high end – and while you’re over there showing off your Italian, everyone else is just glad their vocab got as far as cab sav. Port You’re the kind of person that’s not opposed to opening the nozzle of a maple syrup bottle and down the hatch-ing that sucker. Your blood type is most likely wine and you’re into all things that take an acquired taste – except oysters, coffee and moldy cheese… so really just port. Boxed wine Payday was three nights out and a drunken ‘my shout for shots’ ago and while the weekly fore-cask is usually a 99% chance of wine time, you’re scratching for dollars and the local Fruity Lexia is the only thing that meets your current budget criteria. But chin up bargain box appreciators, the cash (and wine) flow will be back in no time and until then you’re drinking from a wine tap (can we get a hell yeah?). You wine some you lose some. If the only screw you’re interested in on a Friday night is one that’ll get the cork out of your wine bottle – you know you’re really living. But we’re not ones to talk – we’re just over here downing the juice of the gods one glass at a time – because no one ever got a brilliant idea after their second bottle of water. Words by Lucille Burkitt