‘Can you keep up with a Kardashian?’ It’s not a question we’re often asked – we’re not sure the Kardashians make a habit of entering burger eating contests or trying to squeeze in as many bucket cocktails into a night as possible. But when Protein World put the question to us, we decided hell, if Khloe Kardashian can lay off the bacon and eggs for a month, so could we. Maybe. Probably not.
Regardless, we had one of our writers ‘volunteer’ (ok, we threatened to never let them have cake in the office again) to take the challenge, and a 30 day plan complete with The Slender Plan vanilla porridge, chocolate protein, hunger buster capsules and fat metabolizers was soon on it’s way to the office, along with an exercise and meal planner. This is how they went.
First things first – I have no intention of giving up bacon. Also, I work for a food publication – do you really think I can ditch the burgers and cocktails for a month? Hell no – it’s called research, people. However, I am going to cut down on the cake eating, and do my best to not squeeze in 27 meals a day, so that’s got to count for something, right?
Day one starts with the ‘vanilla porridge.’ Straight up I can see we’re going to have a difference of opinion here – this is not porridge. It’s a mug cake. However, once you’ve accepted that, you can move on and enjoy the damn thing – in fact, it’s delicious with blueberries on top. However, do not, and I repeat, DO NOT over cook it. Your non-smoking microwave will thank you.
Sorry Khloe, but even your shapely behind isn’t proving enough to get me motivated into doing a work out at home (or heaven forbid, out in public at the park). So I’ve enlisted the help of 12 Rounds, who are going to yell, beep and box me into activity. 45 minutes here and I’m dripping in sweat – lucky I’ve got a post-work out protein shake that basically tastes like chocolate milk. Not sure how I feel about swapping real food at dinner for a shake though – I’m choosing to gloss over those days in the suggested plan and have them for morning or afternoon tea, with stir fries and vegetable curries for dinner instead, with a little help from Protein World’s recipe page
While the appetite suppressants helped a little for the first few days, I’m finding taking them really hard because by the time I’ve decided I’m ready to eat, I need to eat RIGHT NOW, not in an hour as the bottle suggest. However, with all the extra protein I’m taking in, and the mindset of challenging myself to eat better, I’m finding I don’t need them. Even with the metabolism boosters that I kind of expected to take my appetite from slightly ravenous all the time to ready to eat my own arm off if I failed to feed every 2 hours. Getting down to 3 meals with one snack a day instead of 6 meals with 4 snacks is a pretty big achievement in itself – don’t judge me, ok.
Between getting in all that extra protein, not getting extra bacon with every breakfast and swapping the office snacks for a shake whenever I’m feeling even a little tempted, I am feeling (and let’s admit – looking) pretty damn good. Those skirts that were getting a little tight after Christmas are zipping up again, my arm flab isn’t quite so wobbly and I can actually get through a week without craving a chocolate bar. Am I going to go back to my old ways? At the rate this office gets delivered doughnuts, probably, but at least now I know how to keep myself from snacking 24/7!
Find out more about the Protein World 30 Day Challenge and start your own here
Words by Ranyhyn Akui