We road test a 3 day Press’d juice cleanse | Gourmand and Gourmet

We road test a 3 day Press’d juice cleanse

It’s Thursday night and I’m stuffing my face with as much cheese and sourdough as I can physically handle. Sure this is pretty standard behavior for me on a Thursday night (any night of the week, really), but there is an agenda behind it – I’m about to start a three day juice cleanse from Press’d. So I’m basically trying to get as much real food into myself as possible (and indulge my cheese addiction) while I still can. ‘Why would you do something crazy like not eating for three days?’ I hear you screaming. Well, apart from the fact that everyone told me I couldn’t do it and I never shy away from a food challenge (though they usually involve eating myself into a coma), all the breakfasts, second breakfasts, lunches, dinners, desserts, and snacks have been creeping up on me lately, and my body is starting to protest. Not just around the waistband, but the skin, the hair, feeling tired all the time – it’s time to hit the reset button. So here I am, with a fridge full of organic, cold pressed juice packed with nutrients waiting for me, and the prospect of no cheese or coffee for 3 days. Challenge. Accepted. Day #1 9.30am. Normally I’ve had 2 breakfasts and morning tea by now, but I’m still on my first juice. I’m craving cheese already. But I’m always craving cheese – it’s a real problem. Jon, the hands on owner of Press’d, heard I’ve got a touch of the sniffles, so he added a potent health shot of ginger, carrot and orange to the mix of fresh juices for the day. Now when I say potent, I mean potent – my throat is still burning. If I’m not bouncing off walls again soon, I’ll eat my… well, I’ll drink some more juice. Breakfast (read: bacon) is my favourite meal of the day, so swapping it for a Function Well, full of beetroot, carrot, apple, lemon and ginger is little upsetting. A shade of purple that scares me a little, it’s nevertheless a delicious blend that takes the edge of my hanger. It does also make me look like I just bit a chunk out of raw steak, so maybe don’t drink this one in public? 2pm. 3 juices, a coconut water and epic amounts of water down and I’m feeling a little shaky – though I can’t tell if its from the lack of food or all the fructose. Despite the lack of caffeine, I’m more alert than I have been in weeks – the productivity is a total bonus. It helps that all the juices are delicious. How can something so green taste so damn good? 7pm. It’s past my usual dinner time (I eat early, OK) and while I’m still a little hungry after my almond milk sweetened by medjool dates, I don’t feel like I want to burn the world down, which would be my normal mood if I hadn’t eaten dinner yet. Am I craving literally every crumb of food in the kitchen right now? Yes. Do I feel the need to act on it? No. The aroma of my partner’s lasagna is tempting, but resistible. I CAN AND I WILL GET THROUGH THIS. press'd juice cleanse review 2Day #2 7am. This morning my usual hanger is strangely absent. There’s a slight cramp in my stomach – but it’s a small price to pay for a sexy beach bod. Greeting the day with a Ruby, a tangy blend of grapefruit, spirulina and coconut nectar makes me feel supremely good about my will power. TAKE THAT HATERS. 9am. My muscles are starting feel like I worked out like a she-man yesterday. Probably all those toxins being detoxed. Here’s to hoping the six pack I know I have somewhere comes to light in the process. 12pm. Despite not having eaten in over 40 hours and suffering a slight headache, I’m feeling ridiculously energetic. My house is spotless thanks to an epic cleaning sesh (clear your weekend they said, it will be fun they said) because I’m so full of beans. Going to do the grocery shopping for the week was not such a great idea. Being surrounded by food I can’t eat? Nightmare. 5pm. Starting to feel hungry again. Even had a moment of food rage and screamed at my partner for being in the bathroom when he should clearly be leaving it COMPLETELY FREE FOR MY LIQUID DIET. Hot tip: Do not go anywhere where a bathroom is not accessible if you are on a juice detox. You will pee. A lot. 7pm. Almond milk has never tasted so damn delicious in my life. Seriously, what is in here, crack? Although I do find myself with an apple halfway to my mouth a little later before I realise what I’m doing and throw it across the room. Day #3 830am. No hanger again this morning and I feel like a new person already. My skin is clearer (smooth as a babies bum, seriously), my eyes are brighter – and I’m 3kgs down (winning!). Breakfast this morning is another health shot and a Leany Greeny. I won’t lie, with no fruit to sweeten the kale, spinach, lettuce, cucumber, celery, parsley, ginger and lemon, this one tastes a little like grass, but damn if it doesn’t make me feel like I’m sipping pure health. 11am. I’m feeling energetic enough for a walk. Afterwards, a Teneriffe Sunrise with orange, watermelon, pineapple and lime – new favourite juice! Although the apple, pineapple, cucumber, avocado and lime Cool Down is a hot contender. 3pm. No wait, there’s those hangry feels. If someone put a plate of bacon in front of me right now, I would inhale it. 5pm. 70 hours without food. Close enough right? So I’m eating half an avocado with my almond milk and damn if it isn’t the best thing I’ve ever tasted in my life. Apparently 7 days is where the magic happens, but I’m ready for a big plate of something I can chew. The Aftermath Sticking to fresh fruit and vegetables for two days after the cleanse was surprisingly easy – it’s amazing how good sweet potato and steamed broccoli tastes when you haven’t eaten for three days. I haven’t eaten cheese again yet – further proof of my incredible willpower – but have instead become addicted to fresh almond milk. Seriously, WHAT DO THEY PUT IN THERE? Would I do a cleanse again? Hell yes! I’m already planning my post Christmas juice detox. I feel incredible, look pretty damn amazing if I do say so myself and have found an ability to turn down doughnuts that I never knew I had. If we’ve convinced you that you need to take the challenge of a Press’d juice cleanse yourself, you can get all the details and put an order in here. Words by Ranyhyn Akui