The G&G’s Easter Egg Crackdown
It seems like just yesterday we were waving those sparklers ‘round for the first minutes of 2018, but it’s nearly time to round the corner of the year’s biggest sugar high!
As dentists cower in alleyways and hiss at passersby, we’re gearing up to dive into supermarket shelves for 2018’s best Easter haul. Let’s face it: there’s not much sweeter than four days off work, but we’ve lined up the best and worst of Australia’s Easter eggs, and in true G&G style, crammed every sentence choc full of puns. You’ve been warned. Ready? Let’s get cracking!
Homebrand chocolate eggs
Yeaaaah, unless you’re ready to refinance your mortgage, no one’s funding an Easter egg hunt with Lindt choccies. A bag of these homebrand fiends is code for ‘bulk chocolate ahead’. Sure, you might slice your finger open on flimsy foil, but by George, you’ll have the chocolate stash to show for it.
Cadbury Crème egg
The pop culture icon. The must-have of any Easter social media post. The… kinda weirdly gooey egg that really wasn’t made with Aussie weather in mind. Let’s face it: these guys are a Russian roulette for any handbag-touting mum or slightly-forgetful shopper. If you’re shelling out for a serve, we recommend shoving it in your face ASAP.
Alright, it’s not technically a candidate, but no Easter plan’s hatched without these big-eared icons. Everybody needs some bunny, and these silky-smooth Lindt incarnations are the symbol of a very hoppy Easter. I mean, come on, they’re wearing little bells.
Turkish Delight eggs
Cadbury, the gold foil isn’t fooling anyone: these are the demons of the chocolate world and if someone gifts you one you’ve probably hurt them somehow. We’re not afraid to tell our own grandma to beat it if she rocks up with a bag of these in tow.
Humpty Dumpty egg
Want to play ‘spot the favourite child’? When we were kids, they were definitely carting around one of these badboys. Shaking things up with a hollow egg full of Smarties, let’s be real: this is what we were all looking for after the Easter Bunny sprung a visit.
Darrell Lea Rocklea Road egg
Easter as an adult is no yolking matter. Gone are the days of accepting homebrand chocolate and half-melted bunnies: we’re off work, and we mean business. Everyone’s willing to sacrifice some hard-earned cash for these half eggs, dished out by the dessert masterminds at Darrell Lea. Draped in toasted marshmallow, coconut, and more chocolate (what else?), this one’s worth poaching from the store a few weeks early. Y’know, for a taste test. That’s all, yolks. Words by Samantha Chariton – the gourmand who believes Easter was a failure if you can so much as look at chocolate afterwards.