Look, don’t pretend you’re just going to the Ekka to take in some fashion parades, hit the Woolworths pavilion, cuddle a baby goat and treat yourself to a strawberry sundae.
Secretly, you know you want to waste a whole lot of cash on sweet, candy filled Ekka showbags, give yourself an epic sugar coma and then ride the claw ride until you throw it all up and can do it again.
We’re nothing if we’re not here to help fulfill your foodie fantasies, no matter how extreme, so to aid and abet you, we’ve done the difficult job of finding the most calorie filled bangs for buck.
#1. Bertie Beetle Blue | $2
The original and still the best. Spare change will get you four mouthfuls of childhood bliss.
#2. BIG Nestle Family Deal | $20
Family sized? Pfft. Give us 10 minutes and we’ll have those Kit Kats, Nerds, Violet Crumbles, Smarties, Bertie Beetles and Allens lollies down the hatch.
#3. Killer Python | $5
We got a little excited when we saw this one, but no, no Giant Killer Python back from retail death. Plenty of little ones though.
#4. Darrell Lea Pig Out | $20
Now here’s a bag that knows what we’re after. Don’t worry, the infamous peanut brittle and Rocklea Road is in there.
#5. Marvellous Creations | $20
Go on, just pay the extra $10 to get $9 worth of more chocolate. It’s marvellous!
#6. Women’s Weekly | $15
A surprise entry on the list, BHG offers random samples that will not only fill your kitchen cupboards but also help in post-binge recovery, with , Hairy Lemon tablets, green tea and Pawpaw Ointment (for the inevitable chapped lips).
#7. Full O Fizz | $5
WICKED MAN. Remember shoving entire packets of this stuff in your face in the hopes your face would turn in on itself? Relive those glory days with 10 packets PLUS pop rocks and fizz bombs.
#8. Chupa Chups | $5
Chupa makes it in for it’s long lasting value. You won’t suck through 15 lollipops in a hurry. AND YOU GET AN INFLATABLE ONE.
#9. Red Rock Deli Bag | $4
It can’t all be sugar. Take it to the Woolworths Pavilion to hit the cheese stands and BAM – lunch.
#10. Mentos | $5
If you want some REAL action when you hit sideshow alley, pop a few of these and down a coke.
Totes worth it.
Words by Ranyhyn Akui