How to host a cheat’s Christmas lunch in Brisbane | Gourmand and Gourmet

How to host a cheat’s Christmas lunch in Brisbane

Eatin’ food cooked by someone else ain’t cheatin’.

The gift that keeps giving on Christmas Day is food (we’re already dreaming about the leftovers, tb very h with you). The gift that does not is having to cook it all up yourself. The mess, the cleanup, the gentle weeping into your vodka cranberry (it didn’t need extra salt!). Sweet baby Jesus’ birthday, can’t someone else do it?

Someone can, and someone does; a lot of someones, actually. Slap on some elf ears and call us Santos L. Halper because we’ve created the ultimate shopping list complete with every pre-cooked dish you need for a fully loaded cheat’s Christmas lunch.

Glazed leg ham | Jocelyn’s Provisions

We’ve gotta ham it to Jocelyn’s, they know what the people want for Christmas. A big boi, more accurately a 5kg clove-studded, apricot and maple glazed ham, will make a fine addition to Chrissy lunch. Slap it right in the centre of the table, and take the credit for yourself. Order that big pig here before December 19!

Christmas PIEs | PIE TOWN

Sure it’s 40 degrees, but you can bet we’ll be blistering our mouths on pies all festive season thanks to West End’s latest, Pie Town! There’s even a Tofurkey hand pie for your plant-based bud. Grab a turkey, cranberry and brie pie to place on the table, or keep things casual with a few pork, apple, and pecan sausage rolls. Bonus tip: Pie Town does amazing dessert pies, too, so you can tick off two courses at once!

Cooked prawns | The Fishery

Is it really Christmas lunch without a bunch of prawns? Chuck a shrimp on the barbie (but don’t, because they’re cooked and ready to go), with the freshest selection in town thanks to The Fishery. Call the team on (07) 3369 4707 to order your Fishmas feast by December 17. 

Mixed sides | Short Order

It’s not a feast without some form of potato, so we highly recommend grabbing the duck fat roasted potatoes from Short Order to plonk on the table come Christmas lunch! A bunch of delicious plant-based sides like the whole jarrahdale pumpkin with harissa, chickpeas and tahini yoghurt are sure to help you keep your cool when it comes to feeding the crowd, and Short Order can even sort your flavoured butters and sauces for the table (we’re thinking a chimichurri and chicken jus are in order). Just be sure to order by December 20!

Gourmet cheese platter | The Cheese Pleaser

Snow is alright, but cheese falling from the grater is just as beautiful. Prepared by The Cheese Pleaser’s head chef, Sebastiaan de Kort, you can order one of two perfect platters (or both, you can never have too much solid cow juice), with the finest cheese, chutney, and other pairings that’ll bring a whole lot of ‘hello, yes’ to the table. Work out your order here.

Chouquette | CBD

French pastries and desserts. Enough said, right? Chouquette Edward Street is offering a festive range of treats including three types of Yule logs, gingerbread tarts, macarons, and more! Our pick? The Caribbean Yule log with decadent cremeux surrounded by poached pineapple and mango, vanilla choc mousse, and a coconut and almond crisp. Orders for these bad boys need to be in by December 18, so get planning and read more here.

Gingerbread beach house | Vanilla Pod

Honey, we’re on holiday! Vanilla Pod’s 25-cm tall gingerbread house is built by the finest candy construction workers in Brisbane, complete with surfboards propped up outside and sweet treats decorating the crib. Bring a bit of Christmas magic to post-lunch dessert with this puppy by ordering here.


Merry Christmas, ya hungry animals.

Words by Nicole Portacha
- the gourmand who is hungry for a holiday.