5 New Year’s resolutions destined to fail | Gourmand and Gourmet

5 New Year’s resolutions destined to fail

New Year’s resolutions. You make them – and break them – every year. Will this year really be any different? Maybe 2015 is the year your resolve will last until February. Or maybe not if you’ve made a resolution like any of these:
1. Resolution: Give up gluten.
Lasts until: You realize giving up gluten doesn’t just mean giving up your morning avo on toast, it also means giving up your favourite cereal, pasta, fried chicken, burgers, pancakes, beer and even your favourite sauce for crying out loud. How do people live like this?
2. Resolution: Start drinking green juice every day.
Lasts until: You discover green juices taste like grass. The kind that’s growing in the backyard, not the hunger-inducing kind (we hope that kind’s not growing in the backyard). Maybe they’d taste better without all those green veggies. And with a dash of gin. And a few ice cubes. Oh look, you made a martini.
3. Resolution: Stop drinking every weekend.
Lasts until: Next weekend when you get invited out for drinks. Or even if you don’t, can’t let that leftover wine in the fridge go to waste!
4. Resolution: Cook more instead of going out.
Lasts until: The first time you have to do the dishes afterwards. Did you really use that many saucepans? Why can’t the dishwasher clean a baking pan properly? And how in god’s name did sauce get on the ceiling?
5. Resolution: Beat your caffeine addiction.
Lasts until: Two hours later, when the withdrawal headache kicks in, you find yourself seriously considering murdering your partner and realize you haven’t moved from the couch all day. It’s not just you who needs you to gulp that latte – it’s better (and safer) for everyone. Save yourself the guilt and make a resolution you’ll keep. A resolution to tick off Brisbane’s best breakfasts perhaps? Or to not make a resolution at all. Words by Ranyhyn Akui